Justin Beiber’s British week from Hell

A tough old year young Bieber’s had
A lifetime of hurt (for just a lad) -
In January:  dumped by pretty Selena
Who instead is “looking for someone more senior”
Then a lucrative tour of the UK
Should’ve completed his 19th birthday
A time of happiness, joy and glee
But sadly for him, it wasn’t to be

Firstly the weekend nightclub hoo ha
Being refused entry to ‘Club Cirque du Soir’
By surly doormen who weren’t very nice:-
“Bieber my arse!? You look more like Vanilla Ice”
Unluckily Justin’s style, wasn not unique
And nowadays that haircut is far too sleek
The bouncer: An 80s rap aficionado
Wasn’t impressed by his Diva bravado

Then Monday came and the start of his tour
Brits love punctuality. But delay they abhor
Being “fashionably tardy” doesn’t work over here
On stage 2hours late won’t get you a cheer
The next night, the poor lad was caught feeling sick
More proof that he and the UK don’t ‘click’
Fair play to him though, he recovered, to sing
Bumping and grinding on stage in his bling

Next day, on his way to his dance choreographer
He happened to meet a pushy photographer
But this meeting was more of a violent clash
The paparazzi’s lens he proceeded to smash
Then as if the boy needed more strife –
A psycho ex-fan planned to take his life
No  poison or knife, gun nor cleaver
A neck tie, no less, he had planned for our Bieber
But fortunately this grizzly plan did spoil
The disgusting plot the police did foil

That should have capped a terrible week
Hark, do I hear an animal squeak?
Alas his bad luck was not to end
There was some  news of a furry friend
Pac (a hamster he once acquired)
On Twitter it said: “Poor Pac has expired”
This may well have been his week from hell
But still many tickets Justin Bieber did sell
Yes, his tour may well have been s**t
But we still consider him an honorary Brit!

All the best of Blighty Justin Bieber!!!

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